Hear from the men who have stayed with us.
Often I have had the opportunity to reflect on my time at Room to Heal and the role living there for five and a half months played in helping me come to grips with what being a sex addict meant for my past, and future, and how to fully engage in a recovery community. Now that I'm gratefully back home, I find I miss the community at Room to Heal and the sense of safety, support, and structure the time at Room to Heal offered to me.
Since beginning my journey in recovery through SAA, CSAT counseling, and the twelve steps I have had the privilege of meeting men, men from all walks of life, who have, at the core, the same compulsive behavioral problems that I do. It's been interesting to hear of their recovery programs and to witness both what works and, unfortunately, what doesn't. If I summarized the collection of approaches that don't work for those I've met in SAA and working the 12 steps, I have come to believe my time at Room to Heal was very impactful in addressing them all.
One of the first hindrances to a program, a lifestyle, of recovery that I've witnessed, is simply the willingness to fully engage in the SAA group and program. Beyond just attending a weekly SAA meeting, my time at Room to Heal provided the framework of expectations that I would be involved in at least three meetings a week. Also, Room to Heal required I make 2 recovery calls per day, find a sponsor and begin actually working through the steps. Then, Room to Heal provided the daily accountability to engage in actually doing this. For me, and what I tell everyone, is that making those initial recovery calls is both the hardest thing to do and the most beneficial. It was making those initial, awkward and uncertain, recovery calls that allowed me to quickly get engaged deeply in the meetings I attended and form relationships such that, even now, I still receive a call or two each day from my friends in North Carolina!
Outside of the accountability to work the program and engage with the meetings through making calls, the daily check-in (FACE) at night and the morning meditation that began each day were welcome and extremely helpful, routines that provided a safe space to share and process, and a consistent touch point that allowed me to form deep relationships with the other men at the house. Our twice-a-week process groups provided a more in-depth, yet safe, fun, and challenging environment to get deeper into issues and receive feedback from yourself and the collective group conscience.
Lisa's engagement with K.D. was also huge because it tied K.D. into the actual process that I was working through, provided her with hope and feedback, and gave her a safe space to process all with someone who had, "been there."
Lastly, I was challenged and motivated by our weekly 1:1 coaching sessions which helped structure and cement together all the various recovery activities I was undertaking while allowing me to vent, explore ideas, and receive challenges to my growth.
Room to Heal offered something the residential programs did not; the ability for me to continue working while diving intensely into a recovery program that, typically, takes 90-120 days to get fully enmeshed with. If I had gone to a residential treatment program, in my situation, I would have spent far more money and received far less structure and guidance on how to actually live a real life of recovery.
It was God's divine providence that, in an amazing way, led me into the safety of Room to Heal so that my personal recovery could flourish, my wife could have some freedom and safety to process all she had to deal with, and I could get the time to allow my brain to heal, refocus, and come to terms with how to recover and make amends for all the hurt I had created.
Thank you for all you, and Lisa, do, and God bless you!
I just wanted to thank you for the time we had together. I’m at C’s now which is where I was sitting with my wife the day after getting kicked out. We called your # on a Sunday afternoon not even thinking anyone would answer. But you did and it changed my path forever. Before we called you we had no hope and little direction. After we hung-up, we had a plan and faith you could help us out of this awful place. And you did. RTH gave me the foundation and resources that I so desperately needed. It gave me structure and sobriety for 60 days.
In truth, I could use you as my coach for years. You challenged me in ways that nobody in my life has. You have accessibility into my mind and understanding of how I think. I simply won’t find anyone else that can help me the way you have. I was in this dark abyss and you shined a light in and pulled me out. It’s on me now to stay sober, but using the resources you provided I know I’m in a much better place to succeed. Thanks for answering my call for help.
Like many suffering from sexual addiction, a life event forced me to seek help after living in denial for years. I knew that I had found the right place for recovery and healing from the moment I first spoke with Andrew at Room to Heal. That feeling was solidified on move-in day when the house manager told me, “You are safe here.” From weekly one-on-one coaching to process group sessions, 12-step meetings, and connection with a qualified therapist, Andrew completely tailored my recovery. At Room to Heal, I was immersed into a recovery community and given the freedom to truly focus on me for the first time in my life.