Partner Support
First, take a deep breath. You’ve arrived at a safe place and we understand your circumstances.
My name is Lisa, co-founder of Room to Heal and wife of a recovering sex addict. I’ve been in your shoes, so I know the relentless, physical heartache you’ve carried in your chest since the moment you first learned of your partner’s betrayal. I understand the unfairness of the situation that’s been forced upon you – a profound, all-encompassing sucker punch that came out of nowhere. It would be impossible to prepare yourself for something like this and yet … here you are.
As with any other loss, you need the support and space to mourn and rebuild. Yet, many of us are forced to remain under the same roof with our partner, with no reprieve from the triggers and trauma of his actions. The towering expense of sending him away for treatment might be a financial impossibility but remaining in the same home with him is torture.
We are here to help.
After my family was devastated by the revelation of my husband Andrew’s sexual addiction, we upended our lives and sent him to inpatient treatment halfway across the country for recovery and healing. During that time, he couldn’t work and I became a single mother supporting our family financially while his treatment sent us into $100,000 of debt.
Looking back, it’s hard to believe that insane situation could ever be viewed as a blessing. But thanks to the gift of healthy space from my husband, my faith, great therapy, a strong community of women, I barely recognize the person I was before D day. His recovery led me to pursue my own and I found myself emerging as a stronger, deeper woman than I ever thought possible. With my newfound confidence, I had the guts to set strong boundaries and the free will necessary to fall in love with the new man my husband became over time.
We founded Room to Heal to help more couples devastated by this addiction go on to have happy and fulfilled marriages at a fraction of the price. I don't want you to be trapped by your circumstances. I’m on a mission to help women step into their power, insist on real change from their husband and get room to breathe without having to make any immediate, major life decisions.
At Room to Heal, your emotional safety is just as important as his recovery, so he’ll be held to high accountability standards and we’ll work with you both to establish goals, boundaries and expectations for your time apart. You’ll also have our phone numbers and we’ll be happy to provide a weekly update on his progress.
I know you’re stuck in what feels like a no-win situation. But because of Room to Heal, you have an option within reach. Please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d like to hear your story and help you determine if our recovery residence is a good option for your situation.
Sincerely,
Lisa
Testimonials
Here's what other women in your situation had to say about working with Room to Heal.
After discovering my husband’s affair, porn addiction and sex addiction, I was distraught and traumatized. We became trapped in a toxic cycle of fighting, and he needed help and guidance to get his issues under control. After he came home from inpatient treatment, he still had a lot of work to do, and I needed space away from him so I could focus on my own therapy and healing journey as a betrayed wife. I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of him staying alone in a hotel, and we weren’t ready to make a commitment to separating and him moving into his own apartment. We heard about Room To Heal from our CSAT therapists. We took a chance and my husband moved in to Room To Heal to continue his recovery while giving me my own space to focus on myself. Knowing that he was living in a safe, structured, sober environment gave me the peace of mind to be able to relax and work on myself and my own healing journey. Meanwhile, he was able to focus on his individual recovery and therapy while building healthy habits. Like the name says, it truly does give both the addict and the partner “Room To Heal” and a safe place to grow and recover from the trauma of sexual addiction and betrayal. Andrew and Lisa truly want to help others and have been invaluable resources during this scary, tumultuous time in our lives.
C.L.
In what ways did taking space from your husband benefit your recovery?
After discovery we were in a constant state of turmoil, uncertainty and hypervigilance. Through our therapeutic separation I was able to just focus on my own healing journey without constantly being re-activated by him. I knew that he was being held accountable at Room to Heal and although it was an extremely difficult time, I strongly believe our relationship would not have survived without it.
In what ways did Lisa and Andrew support you through this process?
Lisa was a wonderful voice of calm and wisdom during a very confusing time. We met up and talked on the phone several times as well as texted back and forth.
Would you recommend RtH to other women frustrated by their husbands lack of progress or investment in their recovery?
Absolutely. Without a doubt.
How did the community at Room to Heal benefit your husband?
For the first time in his life he had friends that truly knew him (his words).
What changes have you noticed?
I have seen better communication, true remorse, brokenness (in a good way) and empathy skills.
A. B.
In what ways did Lisa and Andrew support you through this process?
It was helpful to have a wife who understands what I have been through. Andrew helped me understand my husband's perspective (the addict is what he would say). They both answered my calls and made time for me if I needed to chat (or scream). They both helped me stay in reality.
Did you find the boundaries establishment process helpful?
Yes- I had NO clue what I was doing or how it was going to go down. I am very thankful we did that.
Did you feel confident that your husband was safe at Room to Heal? Meaning, did you feel good about the level of accountability provided?
YES, Andrew kept reassuring me. I love it that they have process group and are asked to attend meetings. He was encouraged to get sober. Andrew was patient with my h as he tried to still lie. Loved knowing my H had responsibilities at the house which he now does back home too!! Bless you.
Would you recommend RtH to other women frustrated by their husbands lack of progress or investment in their recovery?
YES- It proved to be so much better then I thought. I had no clue when my H left that morning that I too had started a road to recovery that day. We both changed during the time apart. He is doing recovery for him and I am doing it for me.
How did the community at room to heal benefit your husband?
He didn't have male friends until R2H. Now he does and still stays in contact with them! I am so grateful.
Have you seen an increase in honesty and integrity since he’s been home? YES. I see him working his plan to be honest and stay sober.
What other changes have you noticed?
A desire to attend groups, to be a a sponsor, to help me feel safe, desire to respect me, desire to check in with the guys, desire to speak truth, desire to be a new man.
Do you think he was would have made this same progress at home?
HAHA- is this a trick question? One of us would be dead if that happened.
K.D.
Contact Us
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